meet maryam
Hi, I’m Maryam - The Mom Friend that you’ve Always Deserved.
“The one who doesn’t compare, who listens to your story, cries with you during the peaks and valleys, doesn’t make you feel guilty and encourages you to keep going because you’re the damn best!”
No matter what, she just couldn’t sleep without us.
I thought something was wrong with our baby.
I’m a civil engineer by trade- basically the poster child for “choose the career that your parents tell you to.” For nearly a decade, I worked as a structural aviation engineer…until everything changed.
In 2017, I had my first daughter. She quickly became my greatest teacher and biggest joy. But from the very start, she did absolutely none of the things my friends’ babies were doing- and the complete opposite of what all the “bringing home baby” books described.
My husband and I found ourselves in the dark- literally- bouncing on a yoga ball, timing feeds and wake windows, with the new soundtrack of our lives: a bathroom fan and a running bathtub. (white noise wasn’t a thing back then!)
To add to the exhaustion, our sweet girl refused to sleep even a second in her bassinet- she would only sleep near or on us. And because we were told “never bring your baby into bed with you”, we took turns sleeping in a rocking chair with her, while the other parent stayed awake to keep watch.
It still breaks our hearts to think about of how lost, confused and desperate we felt - and how unsafe that situation was. Not to mention, how lucky we were that nothing went wrong.
Within a week, I knew something had to change.
I finally listened to my gut. I pulled the mattress onto the floor, stripped it down to a fitted sheet, ditched the swaddle, and gently kicked my supportive husband to the guest room.
What I didn’t realize in that moment was just how much I was beginning to learn about my daughter’s unique personality- and how this experience would become the catalyst for helping other families through their own sleepless nights.
Over the next two years, we tackled it all: split nights, early wakes, false starts, teething, my return to work, weaning, and eventually moving her to her own room.
There were so many moments I thought, “This is our fault for not sleep training her.” Every time I heard a sleep training success story at toddler group or felt judged at the pediatrician’s office, I’d feel defeated, guilty, and convinced we had made a mistake.
But once we were home, my intuition would kick in- loud and clear- reminding me it just wasn’t the right path for our family.
Why?
Because I needed “cry it out” (which is what it would have been for her), to make sense in my logical, engineer brain- but it never did.
I kept thinking back to the year before I became a mom: sleeping in bed with the two loves of my life at the time (our Pomeranian and my husband), doing everything possible to reduce stress so we could conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy… and always listening to my intuition.
So how could I suddenly abandon all of that six months later? Increase her stress, isolate her in sleep, and ignore the very instincts that had guided me until now?
It didn’t add up.
I never judge a family for sleep training.
I get it.
But what if there was a unique method you could try first?
In the end, we chose not to sleep train. My husband wasn’t fully on board at first, but he trusted me and supported the decision (even if a little reluctantly).
As she entered her second year of life, I finally began to trust myself as her mother. I let go of expectations, accepted that our daughter was highly sensitive, and realized that it was okay to make changes- our way- to get out of survival mode and actually thrive.
I started sharing our journey with every mom who asked- and with the many women in our lives who were in similar situations. As the oldest of three daughters, I’ve always had women around me who needed a safe space to be heard. I was honored to offer them support, encouragement, and tools that could help their families, too.
After our second daughter was born, I knew I wanted to make this journey official. I enrolled in my first Holistic Sleep Certification course. Thankfully, our youngest was a much better sleeper, which gave me the time and energy to fully dive in and pursue my passion.
Since then, I’ve worked with families around the world through private and group consultations. And I know this is just the beginning.
